Be happy, it’s Adar! * This is the kind of imperative, I can really support. Thanks to my friend, Sara Lynn, who distributes these reminders across the Jewish world during the Hebrew month of Adar. On Wednesday night we read the story of Persian King Ahashuerus’s attempt to destroy the Jews thanks to the machinations of his vizier, Haman. With help from her uncle Mordehai, the Jewish Queen Esther manipulates the king and saves her people. Exactly one month after Purim, we celebrate another holiday, Passover. The centerpiece is our master narrative-- the story of the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt.
Is it any wonder so many Jews are writers and publishers? As Alisa would say, “it’s part of our Jewish DNA.”
One of the highlights of a book talk or an invitation to a book club is that Leslie and I are frequently privileged to hear others’ stories. At times it’s strident: “My story is even better than Vera and Alisa’s!” We heard that line a few times from Russian listeners, often those who have not yet read the book. We also have heard moving tales of grandparents who immigrated or relatives who remained, reunions with long last relatives. Often the stories include unbelievable twists and turns. But they are no less incredible than a Jewish queen who saves Persian Jews or a slave people who walk their way to freedom kvetching** all the way.
We think Vera and Alisa’s stories are unique. In fact, we read as many memoirs by Russians as we could to ensure that our book wouldn’t retell tales thatalready published. But, we also hear unique stories each time we talk to audiences. I often have the urge to grab a pen and notebook to copy down the stories I hear, but they are your stories. Here are my four imperatives to all our readers to uncover and preserve your own family treasures whether they are your autobiography or family history.
Interview. We encourage each and everyone not to wait – interview your family members now. Begin to collect places, names, dates, and stories before they are lost to you. How many times Leslie and I wished we could phone Grandma Rae up in her heavenly roost to ask a question! Talk to your sisters and brothers and find out what they remember. Vera and Alla’s older brothers knew a lot of their family’s history, but waited until they were asked before they shared.
Write and Share. I belong to a memoir writing group. Each month we arrive with a short slice of our lives to share. Almost everyone is writing for their children and what a gift they are preparing. As we write, memories flood back to us. You may think you don’t remember your childhood, but begin with any memory you can summon, and you’d be surprised how much will follow on the heels of that one thought. Belonging to a group and listening to others sparks personal memories.
Invite. And, if you are part of a book group, don’t hesitate to invite us—call or email and we will come. If you live outside our driving boundaries, we can skype with you. Not only do we enjoy talking about Vera and Alisa’s lives, we enjoy listening to your life stories. In La Jolla I heard the riveting tale of an audience member’s search for his family’s roots that probably originated close to our own.
Celebrate and share. While there are devices to lure family members away from conversing with each other, sharing memories is a simple way to reconnect generations. So, celebrate the heroism of Mordehai and Esther, recount the story of the Exodus and make sure to begin to collect your own family stories and memories.
And, how do you know what’s true? That’s another blog for another week. Or, see our “Truthiness” afterword on p. 341 of Jewish Luck. As for using genealogy tools, look for Leslie’s blog next week.
*Adar is the name of the fifth Hebrew month of the year.
** kvetch=prolonged complaining in an annoying tone